I am a positive person.
In fact, I can find the bright side of almost any situation. Just try me.
So this morning when I stumbled out of bed, bleary-eyed and not at all well-rested, and headed to the kitchen to make some protein oats for breakfast, I knew my first thought was odd.
There on my kitchen counter sat a half-open bottle of Layer Cake Shiraz and I glanced at it and thought “Mmmm wine sounds so good right now.” And then I realized it was 6:30am and there might be something wrong with me.
Now, the bottle has been half-open for over a week, so I know my problem is not alcoholism. Instead, it’s just that I’m so. stinking. tired.
As I mentioned the other day, I’m currently working two jobs (In total around 70 hours/week plus almost 2 hours a day in the car) to stay afloat and I’ll be honest-I am exhausted all the time. At my second job, I’m on my feet the entire time. I have only been getting 5 hours of sleep a night (My body needs 8 to be happy and feel rested), I barely see my friends, and I’ve been trying to cram an equal amount of priorities into a smaller amount of time. Exercising and blogging are two things I refuse to give up but as they say, something’s gotta give! And apparently in this case it’s my sleep.
Oh, and my ability to remember…anything. This includes birthdays, dates, planned activities, and so on.
And I have spent the past two weeks (or has it been longer?) thinking constantly about all of those things. But this morning I woke up and realized I still have two months to go, and thinking this way is only making me more tired and more stressed because all I think about is how I’m tired and “If I go to bed at 12:30 am, I’ll get 6 hours…If I go to bed at 1:00 am I’ll get 5.5 hours…” and so on.
So today I’m attempting to put “Mind over Matter” and, even though I know my body is dead tired and I’m falling asleep in my chair, I’m not going to whine about it. I’m going to smile even though I want to sleep and laugh even though I want to…well…sleep.
Bahaha. I can relate.
So in lieu of my new mantra, here’s some positive thoughts:
-I am glad for this opportunity, and I know it’s what I need to do now. I really need the money both to pay off some credit card debt and then to save for a possible new endeavor I will embark upon next year.
-Next weekend several friends and I are traveling to San Diego for a short weekend to chill out and it will be three days of glorious uninterrupted relaxation!
-Thanks to my job, I have access to all the caffeine I could possibly need to help get me through this time.
-I still have half a bottle of wine on my counter.